Free PDF , by Hal Straus Jerold J. Kreisman
Free PDF , by Hal Straus Jerold J. Kreisman
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, by Hal Straus Jerold J. Kreisman
Free PDF , by Hal Straus Jerold J. Kreisman
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Product details
File Size: 644 KB
Print Length: 290 pages
Publisher: TarcherPerigee; Revised, Updated edition (October 25, 2010)
Publication Date: December 7, 2010
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B0046ECFIG
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#13,144 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
I was recommended this by my treatment provider shortly after being diagnosed with Borderline & I can honestly tell you this book changed my life. It was the first time I actually read something that made me say "omg this is me, I'm not just crazy". The information in it is incredibly valuable, I actually recommend it to the individuals I work with now when they are diagnosed or someone is thinking they have that diagnosis & I often get the same feedback that I gave when I read it. People seem to either relate to it a lot or question the symptoms which is helpful in being able to tell your provider WHY you don't think it matches your behavior. It's so well written & moving that Demi Lovato even wrote a song (literally called I Hate You, Don't Leave Me) after reading it to understand herself. I highly recommend it to providers, those who have loved ones that struggle with BPD, those diagnosed with BPD, & even people who just want to know more.
I was once in a relationship with a woman who exhibited all the signs of borderline personality disorder (BPD): uncontrollable, inappropriate anger; impulsivity; self-harming; projection; splitting; idealization and devaluation; and many more were characteristic of my time with her.I walked on eggshells constantly, always either in combat during her rages or, feeling like her happier moments were merely cease-fires whose duration were always short and correctly anticipated to be so.I ended the relationship, believing my ex to be an evil reptilian person who didn't know the meaning of the word "empathy."But I also didn't know about the ways family and others in relationships with a borderline can cope with the borderline's behavior. The SET-UP technique described by the author could certainly have helped me address my ex's episodes more effectively and more proactively than gearing up for battle and, ultimately, walking away.The advances in psychotherapies and even in medication (though no medications are specifically indicated for BPD) are helping many borderlines alleviate their symptoms, develop healthier relationships, achieve some degree of remission, and lead lives closer to normal, and show great hope for the future. And "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" discusses these quite thoroughly and optimistically.As I progressed through this book, I often wondered what it would have been like had I stayed in the relationship with my ex, knowing about the various coping methods like SET-UP, and working through family therapy with her (my ex was seeing a therapist during the time we were together, but she told me it was for depression and anxiety, not BPD; I pieced together that she had BPD after the relationship ended). Maybe if I had been a little more patient, a little more firm at maintaining boundaries, and definitely a little more supportive and empathic, we may have been able to achieve a longstanding, happy relationship.One last thing: if you're the type who stops reading the book at the last chapter and doesn't venture into reading the appendices of a book, you may want to break from that routine for this book. Appendix B provides a great discussion of how the borderline personality disorder diagnosis evolved. Definitely worth reading.Whether you're a student of psychology, a practicing therapist, a borderline struggling to stop the pain, or a family member or relationship partner of a borderline, you will find "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me," an informative, helpful resource in stopping the pain of this terrible disorder.
the first half of the book was very "clinical" and since i was reading for myself, i didn't enjoy hearing repeated phrases like "the borderline patient can be..." over and over again, as if i'm some kind of lab rat... but hey, they are helping my kind so i'll get over it!the second half was much better for me because it focused on specific scenarios that i could very much relate to, and many solutions to my problems!definitely worth the read, but if you are struggling through the first half, know you are not alone in that!
My best friend and her daughter are both Boarderline and this gave incredible insight into a hard to love and complex personality disorder. It allowed me to see some strategies for talking to them during black and white thinking.
I have shown signs of BPD for as long as I can remember, and was diagnosed with it a few years ago, this book has given the most helpful info out of all the materials that I've read, and also helps to break it down in terms you can understand. there are also suggestions for dealing with day to day issues as well as talking to someone who has BPD to solve problems and figure out what's going on, and how to progress. i highly recommend this book, as it is informative, and not just for BPD cases
I don't know if the title is truly indicative of what a BPD person would say, but I have a really hard time buying it. Publishers love to put shocking titles on their books to attract readership of the masses instead of appealing to an intelligent inquiring mind. So I felt mildly insulted from the start. The intro and dryly presented index failed to draw me in. I just don't think it is fair to reduce a disorder to such an odd statement. I cannot imagine a person who suspects they have BPD feeling comfortable with it when they are seeking insight. I find it hard to respect the opinions of an author who would title their book this way and alienate some of their most important readership. Perhaps they are of the opinion that those people are not as important as their friends and family? Perhaps they had no control over it, which is unfortunate. Furthermore, it was difficult to leave this book out in the open home library with such a cover. It remains hidden deep in a drawer.
I live with BPD and am trying to understand it. This book has helped me immensely in that process, and I never even got to finish it. I just know it exceeded my expectations and it kept me interested. I felt like I was reading about myself. Great book if you need help understanding yourself or a loved one with BPD.
This book is well written, and easy to follow from a person who may be unfamiliar with mental illness in general. It's not a necessarily gentle read, but neither is the disorder. But, if you're dedicated to your loved one, whomever it may be, and even if tou thjnk you don't need to read it, if you're reading this comment you should probably stop and go ahead and purchase it.
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